If you liked it than you should have put a ring on it...or at least asked them out...

***sigh***

Why is it that I only get hit on by gay men and gentlemen over the age of 65?
Why can't I get asked out by a guy my own age?

***heavy sigh***

It's really depressing. I mean let's look at the facts here.

For starters I smell good. I use really nice laundry detergent, so my clothes are always nice and fresh smelling. I use liquid tide, not the cheap powder kind. I also always have some sort of delicious perfume on. Not just any perfume, I'm talking about Chanel. I smell expensive for goodness sake.

Secondly, I have really great hair. It's shiny and silky and long. I use yummy smelling products too (add it to the previous list of me smelling good)

C: I dress well. I buy pieces that can go the distance. I have a very classic style. Most of my clothes are 90% dry clean only, so that's telling you something. I am really good at accessorizing. I like to go by the "less is more" rule. I also wear at least 4inch heels everyday.

Which brings me to exhibit 2-B: I'm the perfect height. I'm 5'5 which makes me absolutely average. I'm right in the middle, not a dwarf and not so freakishly tall that I look like I belong in the Amazon. I can wear those 4inches and still be shorter than a lot of guys.

In closing I'm also smart, and keep up to date with current events. I know how to cook, even though I don't ever do it. I do bake, and am pretty good at that too. I also am funny and I can take a joke. If I trip or do something retarded I'm the first person to laugh at myself. I come from a nice family, and I have pleasent friends.

So what the funk? What's up? Why am I on the verge of the big 3-0 and I'm no where close to being married, let alone landing a date.

I get asked why I'm still single at least once a day. I'm running out of answers. I don't know.

People have started to feel pitty for me and are "breaking it down" for me and letting me know what's up.

So what's the big mystery?

Apparently I'm intimidating.

What the hell kind of answer is that?

Because I dress well, smell good, have nice hair, am smart and funny, and have a ton of great people around me this is the reason I am single. This is why guys don't ask me out.

***another heavy sigh***

Why are men so stupid. Do you know how many great girls are out there just waiting to be a good girlfriend to some stupid douche bag that doesn't even deserve her? Too many for me to even try and keep track of.
Why do I always see a pretty good looking dude with some really unattractive girl? I always wonder why she can get a guy and I can't. It makes me feel pretty pathetic. Don't judge me, you know you've all done it at least once in your life.

I did get asked out a few weeks back by some guy who is 22. First strike. I went to lunch the same day with the BFF and when she asked me what he was like I described him as the type that looks like he shoots rifles when he gets drunk with his buddies. Super redneck. Definatly not my type. Strike two, and I'm not eben giving him the chance to strike out. I also had an acquaintance today tell me that I should try a "party-line" What the hell? Do I look like the type to call a party line? hmmmm? I don't think so. Especially since she met her boyfriend there and he just got out of rehab. Again, not my type.

Basically my type is non-douche bag, but my problem is that I am surrounded by them.

Look, I'm not asking for much here. I just want a decent guy who can make me laugh and would be able to carry me out of a burning building if neccessary. Not drag me, but carry me out. If I'm going to make a wish list though I might as well go big or go home, right? Okay, I'm glad you agree!

My dream guy would be;
funny, smart, cute, and at least 5'10. I really would like to get married in the temple, so I would prefer a member, but only a really down to earth one like me. I'm not down for dating a crazy uber orthodox one again (I still miss you though Mr Perfect.) If he's not LDS I need him to be Jewish. I wouldn't even flinch at changing my last name to Goldstein or Rosenberg. Anything Jew-like and I'm good. I also really like guys with tatoos, I think that is super hot. I cannot be with a Yankees fan either. We bleed Boston in my family. I also need someone who has a good job. I know that sounds terrible, but I'm keeping it real. I'm a lot of things, but I am no sugar momma, and I never will be. My perfect guy would also love dogs, and allow me to name all dogs we bring into our home. He would also allow me to name all children that I push through my vagina as well. Basically all naming rights would belong to me.

This is pretty much all I'm asking for. It's not that much, I'm not that picky, so please guys don't be intimidated. Ask a pretty haired, yummy smelling average height girl out next time you see one. She might just be me...