Last night we had a birthday party for a friend of mine, and we decided to go to a place that has a mechanical bull. We've been there before, and even though it's a little out of our way (and when I say out of our way I mean far enough for us to have to get a room) it's always totally worth it. We have the greatest time when we go there. I was super pumped up and ready to go. I was even contemplating getting on the bull again. I haven't rode it since my 24th birthday. People always ask me why I don't like to ride the bull. Let me take a minute to explain. Yes, I do think riding the bull is super-duper fun. It is, it's like a little roller coaster ride that you're taking solo. Here's my problem that I didn't realize until AFTER my one and only bull ride...you must sign a waiver to ride it. Let me repeat myself, you must sign a waiver, something that clears the establishment of any responsibility in bodily injury, including death. You could DIE from riding the damn bull. What the funk? I'm not down to die for some little 3 minute thrill. Yes, I did survive when I rode it, but walking away from it I remember I felt like I had conquered a real bull. Yes, in my head I was as legitimate as a PBR 10 year veteran. I had rode the bull and walked away without a scratch. I was the man, and I was never, EVER going to get on that thing again.
Until last night...
And the son bitch was out of order.
Oh well, I just decided to drink a lot instead. Which I did. I even did the shot thing where you sit in a barber's chair and they lay you back and pour the shots in your mouth and then sit you up really quick. I was pretty smashed. I danced with my friends, and I danced with the man in his 80's who goes around and asks anyone under the age of 30 to dance. He has a couple of smooth moves, so it was nice. I will say that dancing has become so icky. This is a subject in which my opinion helps prove my theory that I was born in the wrong generation. Let me go on...
People cannot dance. Boys think that smashing against a girl's butt with their penis is dancing. No, that is dry-humping. What happened to moving your feet? What happened to men leading? It is so refreshing when a guy asks me to dance and knows what he's doing. See, I'm not the best dancer, but if a guy is a strong lead then he can make any girl be a better dancer. I had a guy last night that was a great lead, so he spun me around and dipped me and everything. I damn near changed my name to Ginger. So boys, do us girls a favor and stop trying to hump us on the dance floor. We don't like it.
The night was a success. Our friend turned 30, no one died riding the bull, (because they couldn't even get on it!) Shots were taken and no one up-chucked, and I got to dance properly. Can't wait to see what the next trip there brings us.
Here I am line dancing with the 80 year old man who we see EVERYTIME we go there. He's there everytime, it's gotten to the point where I look for him when we get there. If I don't see him right away I have a small panic attack that he's died.
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