It's finally that time again!!!!

I love, love LOVE Harry Potter, and the last book was spectacular. I am so excited to see it come to life on film, and am also thrilled that they have broken it into two movies. For one reason, it gives me another movie to look forward to, but mostly because there is entirely too much going on to shorten it into one. So kudos to the studio heads on making that decision. The first part will be in theaters November of this year, and the second will be in July of 2011.

Ok, came across this randomly and thought it was adorable...Sort of got a little verklempt in the end too. Guess I'm not all jaded yet.

For Father's Day I went and hung out with "The Big Chief." i.e. my dad. Why do I call him, The Big Chief? Because many moons ago when I was around five years old my dad told me to do something. When I argued with him and asked why I should have to listen to him he simply responded, "Because I'm the big chief, and you're the little indian." Way to really tell me dad. Let's just say that my liberal mother didn't really let that analogy stick.

You see, my dad is pretty much the human version of Calvin's dad from the Calvin and Hobbes cartoons. It's not that he doesn't know that answers, but sometimes I think he thought that the questions I would ask were ridiculous so he would just go with it. My dad is smart, let's not get any wrong idea's here, it's just that he got stuck with a beautiful, talented awesome kid (moi) that happened to ask a few too many questions.

So anywho...

My dad wants to go to Jamba Juice and the bookstore. So I'm like sure, ok. Then he says that he wants to take the dog. I felt we shouldn't. I told him that I don't think that Mr Darcy is going to be very welcomed in either of those places. But my dad is insistant that we take him, and by this point Mr Darcy has heard that he gets to go and starts getting all worked up and wheezing like a little boy with asthma who didn't get picked dead last for a dodgeball team, so I can't say no now. Basically, the little prince comes with us, and when we get there he refuses to jump out of the car because he knows that I will carry him. So I'm carring 17 pounds of white marshmellow fluff in 100 degree weather, and we walk into Jamba Juice.

"You can't have that dog in here."

"Dude, I'm just reading your menu and then I'm leaving."

No response, turns and walks to the back.

I think this is the first time in history that this dog has been rejected. I honestly have took him into numerous establishments, and never once had anyone say anything other than, "OMG!!! THAT IS THE CUTEST DOG EVER!!!" Seriously, I think about buying a bus and traveling around the country with him to promote friendship and goodwill. It's like he shits joy. People can't get enough of him. I mean look at him...who wouldn't love this guy?

But whatever, so I'm outside drinking death in a cup for diabetics with my dad. We decide to head to the book store so he can get a book about something Civil War related. My dad is totally pro American, so I think that the Civil War is his favorite war because it was America against America. No matter what America was always winning.

Again, I am carrying the dog.

We walk in, and my dad finds the book in about 2.5 seconds, goes to the register and starts to buy the book. The little 19 year old Asian girl makes the mistake of asking him what his phone number is.

Dad "Why the Hell do you need to know that?"

Me "It's to see if you have a rewards card dad, it's not for Big Brother."

19 year old Asian girl "Um, well, for health code purposes you can't have the dog in here."

Me "He's my guide dog."

19 year old Asian girl "Oh...ok."

Dad "What did she just ask?" (have I mentioned my dad has really bad hearing? He does.)

Me silence...

Dad "Is she serious? I'm buying the freaking book and she says something now?"

Me "dad, it's fine."

Dad "that is retarded."

19 year old Asian girl silence...fear in her eyes.

Me "DAD!"

We leave with my dad ranting a little. I remind him that I told him we shouldn't have brought the dog with us. He insists that he takes him everywhere and never has a problem. I express the fact that the two places we tried to go today both told us to go to Hell with our little puppy, but that he doesn't need to be so cranky and that he almost made the little Asian girl cry and is that what he wants?

He response, "Yes"

Love you dad, you're the crankiest Big Chief I know, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

 

So, I had a dream that Kate Gosselin died the other night. It was a very realistic dream too. I remember that in it I was thinking, "Oh man, those poor kids have to be raised by their douche bag dad now...bummer."

It was also one of those dreams where I didn't think about it when I woke up, but then the next morning as I was reading my E News Daily via my phone I saw something about Kate Gosselin and her performance on the last episode of DWTS. (for those of you unfamiliar, that stands for Dancing with the Stars, which is a ridiculously corny concept that actually became a major success. Weird.) So I see this article and am like, "Oh shit! She's NOT dead." I actually totally thought she was dead. I mean, I was actually confussed for a second there like, wait a minute...didn't she die? Then I felt this wave of relief that she was alive, which lasted for about 5 seconds, and was immediatly replaced with a feeling of ughhhhh, because then I was thinking, "Oh man, those poor kids have to be raised by their douche bag mom now...bummer"

Seriously, it's gotten a little ridiculous. I don't know how this woman has managed to stay in the spotlight for so long. How is she even on DWTS? She's not a star, she's a lady. A lady who happened to house six babies in her uterus at one time. I don't care about her. And I really don't care about whether or not she learns how to cha cha cha.

I don't watch the show regularly, but I happened to stop by my mom's house the other night (Why do I do that?!?! I always say, "I'm going to my mom's" or "I'm headed to my dad's" No wonder everyone thinks my parents are divorced...I act like the two don't even live together.) But anyway, I was over at MY PARENTS house, and my mom loves the show, so I watched it with her. I love that America voted off Buzz Aldrin, a war hero and the second man to walk on the moon, yet they vote to keep Kate Gosslin. Seriously, there is something wrong with our society.

You know who I would want to see on that show? Remember the guy who played Jake in the movie Sixteen Candles? You know, the guy Molly Ringwald's character had a crush on, and then he shows up at her sister's wedding and gives her a birthday cake...you know who I am talking about. Where did he ever even go anyway? He was adorable. ABC, go find him, then I'll watch your show.

So....this weekend we went to go get sushi. I say we should try this place called Rock n Roll Sushi.

Sounds like a cool place, right?

Wrong.

Rock n Roll Sushi was not rocking, and it definatly wasn't rolling any sushi because get this....

5 minutes after the waitress takes our order she comes back to the table and says,

"we ran out of fish, so as of this moment we don't have anymore fish."

Say what?!?

Letter to parents

Think of this as a small PSA.

Parents of small children, please PLEASE understand that even though your child might be cute and adorable in your eyes does not mean that I am smitten by them. I do not know all the cute things they say and all the fun tricks that you have taught them to perform. I only know what I see, and I do not like it.

I do not like going to a store and having you push a cart that is empty except for the fact that you have three children piled in it. Do not walk down the shoe asile in TJ Maxx and expect me to move. I was there first, wait until I leave, or go around me the other way.

I do not enjoy hearing your child scream at a decibel so high that it makes me want to stab out my eardrums to make the noise stop. I will get a disgusted look on my face and tell your child to be quiet. If you don't like it, boo-hoo...tell you're kid to shut up.

When I am standing in line at Starbucks I don't want your children running around me like I'm the mulberry bush. I also do not like them standing close enough to me that if I move a half an inch they will be touching me. I don't like children bumping into me. I don't know if they have been bathed lately and if or if not they have been rolling around in dirt, or if they are infected with lice.

I do not want to have to manuver around your stroller/mini cooper (because that is the size of strollers these days.)

The only public place I will give your child a break is the grocery store. People need food to survive. Other than that, if you have a noisey or dirty child, leave them at home. No babysitter? Stay home with them, give them a bath and teach them how to be quiet. Maybe even throw in some sign language, they less I hear the better.

Shout out to all my parents that keep their kids in check. Yeah, I'm talking to you, Ana, Jackie, Dena, Jeanette, and I'm sure there are others I can't think of at the moment. Next time I see your kids, they're all getting a quarter for behaving.