Letter to parents

Think of this as a small PSA.

Parents of small children, please PLEASE understand that even though your child might be cute and adorable in your eyes does not mean that I am smitten by them. I do not know all the cute things they say and all the fun tricks that you have taught them to perform. I only know what I see, and I do not like it.

I do not like going to a store and having you push a cart that is empty except for the fact that you have three children piled in it. Do not walk down the shoe asile in TJ Maxx and expect me to move. I was there first, wait until I leave, or go around me the other way.

I do not enjoy hearing your child scream at a decibel so high that it makes me want to stab out my eardrums to make the noise stop. I will get a disgusted look on my face and tell your child to be quiet. If you don't like it, boo-hoo...tell you're kid to shut up.

When I am standing in line at Starbucks I don't want your children running around me like I'm the mulberry bush. I also do not like them standing close enough to me that if I move a half an inch they will be touching me. I don't like children bumping into me. I don't know if they have been bathed lately and if or if not they have been rolling around in dirt, or if they are infected with lice.

I do not want to have to manuver around your stroller/mini cooper (because that is the size of strollers these days.)

The only public place I will give your child a break is the grocery store. People need food to survive. Other than that, if you have a noisey or dirty child, leave them at home. No babysitter? Stay home with them, give them a bath and teach them how to be quiet. Maybe even throw in some sign language, they less I hear the better.

Shout out to all my parents that keep their kids in check. Yeah, I'm talking to you, Ana, Jackie, Dena, Jeanette, and I'm sure there are others I can't think of at the moment. Next time I see your kids, they're all getting a quarter for behaving.