Story of one of the worst husbands in history...and it's all true!!!

I have to share about this super awesome documentary that I watched this weekend called Crazy Love.

It starts out in New York City in 1957, and this man Burt meets this woman named Linda. Burt is instantly drawn to her. She's young and beautiful and pretty much the bomb diggity. Burt looks like a schmuck, but is a lawyer and has oodles of money, owns a nightclub and his own plane, therefore Linda is smitten, and they start a relationship. The problem is that Burt is already married. Apparently he didn't take his wedding vows too seriously, because he liked to hop around from girl to girl. All before Linda though. Once he met her all the other women were scum on his shoes. Linda was the bee's knees to Burt.

But Linda found out that Burt was married. He tried to stall her with fake divorce documents, and took her house hunting, all that jazz. Meanwhile, his wife Francine had given birth to a mentally handicap little girl.

Well finally Linda catched on that Burt is never going to actually divorce his wife and she leaves him. Burt goes balistic.He hires people to throw rocks at her window so she'll be afraid and come back to him. That doesn't work, so he hires people to beat her up so she'll be afraid and come back to him. Doesn't work. Throughout all this Linda continually goes to the police for help in vain. They do nothing to stop Burt's antics.

Linda decides to go to Florida for a month with a girlfriend and her family. There she meets Larry, and they fall in love. They go back to New York and they get engaged. Burt finds out and is basically pissed. He tries to kill Linda, but doesn't have the guts.

Burt hires a man who then goes to Linda's house and tells her he has a wedding gift for her. Her mother tells her to come to the door and when she does the man throws lye in her eyes, blinding her. She's blind. Her eyes are super messed up crazy looking and she has to wear dark glasses to hide them. She has some vision, but not much.

Burt goes to prison. Larry leaves Linda.

After fifteen years in prison Burt is parolled. He goes on a local news interview. On that interview he says he still loves Linda and wants to marry her.

Linda's friends somehow get Burt and Linda in the same room. He proposes. She marries him.

Years later Burt is charged with sexual assault and threatening violence on a woman he cheated on Linda with. He is aquitted at the trial, but admits to the affair.

Linda stands by Burt's side through the whole thing. They have been married for over thirty-five years.

***Sigh****

Let me get this straight. This man lies about being married, and then blinds you when you try to move on with your life, then you still marry him years later. He cheats on you with another woman and has to go to trial for it, and you still stand by him and call him a wonderful husband? Lady, I thought I dated a lot of douche bags, but Burt takes the cake. He is by far one of the worst husbands in the history of husbands.

This goes to show how women crack though. If a man is persistant enough, eventually the woman will break down. I say no way jose. We women have to stick to our guns. Even though I don't have a guy throwing acid in my eyes, I still put up with a lot of bullshit. And for what? What is it that I'm holding out for here? Why do I hold on to someone who doesn't try to hold on to me? More on that later...maybe.

Ladies, lets try not to marry guys like Burt. Guys, try not to throw acid in a woman's face just because she left you.

Linda and Burt before any acid flinging...

Linda after the incidnet..

When they first got back together...

Burt and Linda today.

If my life were a song, it would be this song.

the Blanket, 2.0 version

OMJ!!!

Move over Snuggie, cause there's a new sherrif in Comfy Town. That's right ladies and gentlemen, I'm talking about the Nuddle.

"What's a Nuddle?" you ask...well let me tell you. The Nuddle is short for nap and cuddle, which as a start I love much better than Snuggie. I mean, who doesn't like to nap and who doesn't like to cuddle? I for one enjoy both, either separately or together, so anything that can give me both in one sitting has my name written all over it. I can't even think of what Snuggie really means. I'm thinking there is a snuggle involved, but what else? Why settle for a snuggle when you can have a cuddle AND a nap.

Now let's get down to the nitty gritty of the matter.

Exhibit A: the Snuggie

FIRST OF ALL, this woman isn't even reading a REAL book. Where is the title? I have a problem with this, but that is niether here nor there.

Sure, Ms. Snuggie looks pretty cozy, but let's take a look at Exhibit B: the Nuddle.

Ms Snuggie has her body covered and warm, but she has no pockets to put the remote control or a spare cookie or two. This is a problem that the Nuddle has solved with holes for the arms, but they went one step further to add a kangaroo type pocket. Some might use it to keep their hands warm, I would go with the cookie holder method myself, but different strokes...

The Nuddle is also awesome because it has gone where no other blanket has gone before. It has a built in foot pocket! I know right?!? Having long legs myself, I always find my feet being neglected by blankets. Praise be to the Nuddle for making a solution to this before my toes fall off from frostbite.

Now I have to also list the cons of the incredible Nuddle.

The cost of the Nuddle is $68. You could walk into Walmart and get a Snuggie for you, your mother and your mother's dog for under that price. Plus, the Nuddle only comes in Pottery Barn type colors. It's hard to be obnoxious in anything in a color called midnight, or latte.  If I'm basically wearing a wizard's cloak, I'd rather it be zebra print or pepto-bismol pink.

But then I remember that the Nuddle is a cuddle and a nap in one, and you can't beat that, so the Nuddle it is!

When I was a little girl, before all my OCD tendancies were mistaken for kooky behavior I remember that I liked everything to be in it's place. I didn't like things to be crooked, or off balance. One day when my mom pulled a sheet of cookies out of the oven, she sort of just threw it on the counter. One corner was hanging off of the counter, basically the sheet of cookies was sitting at an odd angle. I was old enough to know better, yet I reached out and grabbed the corner to straighten out the cookie sheet, immediatly burning my hand. As I yelped in pain my mother asked, "What the hell did you do that for? You saw me pull that out of the oven...."

I couldn't help it, something deep inside drove me to put my hand on the hot metal, I had to fix it, and it didn't matter that I would be burned.

I'm still burning myself on cookie sheets today, if by cookie sheets we're talking about Batman.

I know that I'm going to get burned, but I can't help it, I keep reaching out and grabbing the hot metal.

How lucky am I to have such pretty friends?

I find it amusing that I always feel the most blessed when my life is in more of a low point, when things aren't necessarily going how I'd like them to.

But maybe that's how it's supposed to be. Maybe when we need to remember the most, we really think about all the things that we should be thankful for.

I feel slightly silly for having so much and taking it for granted, so tonight I am counting my blessings. I might not be able to change the way that people perceive certain things, but I can continually work on ways to walk the path that I believe is true. I can try harder to lead by example, silently. I can smile hoping that might slightly crack other's harden hearts.

I can work hard for the things that I want. I can sigh a deep breath that I know what it is I want to work hard for. I can sleep easily knowing that I can change my mind if I want to.

I can be reminded that everyone makes mistakes, even me. I can remember how it feels when I do make a mistake and have compassion for other's and their own faults.

I am allowed to love, even if what I love hurts me. I am allowed to find a love that loves me back. It is entirely my choice.

I can make the memories today that will bring a smile to my face 50 years from now.

In 24 hours I'll be in the most awesome, awful, beautiful, nasty, spectacular place on earth. That's right, I'll be in Vegas with some of the craziest girls I know.

I'm pretty much crushing on Michael Cera right now...

**sigh**

After living with little Gilda for a few years I've come to realize that the cartoons kids have today suck. Here's a throwback to some of the cartoons I used to love, love love! Anyone remember...

A couple of days ago I was leaving my parents house and this lady walked by with three of the most adorable baby faced miniature pomeranians. Three words...I WANT ONE.

Can we talk about my new Betsey Johnson purse for a second? You could pick this up at a department store for $348 (not including tax), or....

You could pick it up at TJ Maxx for $140 (that's including tax) like I did.

I also want to talk about these super cute shoes that I'm thinking I need to pick up for the spring/summer...

How patriatic will my feet look in these! I can't wait for all the "day" holidays...you know, Memorial Day, Labor Day, 4th of July day.

Where's my free mumu?

So the January issue of V magazine is featuring a spread where two women model the exact same clothes in the exact same posses, except one is a "standard" model and the other is a "plus" size model. The point is to show that high end fashion can look good on "healthy" women. Kudos for them yada yada yada, but hold the phone, I'm still looking for the plus size model. I see two women, one is very thin and the other is more curvy but I don't see any plus size model. Wait, oh that girl on the right is the plus size model?

HUH....

Um, did I just get called plus sized, because I pretty much look like the model on the right. Did I miss something, because when I walk into Macy's or Nordstrom and grab something from the rack it usually has a little M on the tag. The dress I wore to work today was an 8, so when in the hell did I become plus sized? I know I need to lose around 20 lbs but man, talk about a blow to the self esteem. If I lost the twenty pounds I'd resemble the girl on the left, so I'm confussed. I'm either "emaciated" (which is what the article called the girl on the left) or I'm "healthy" (the word used to describe the plus-sized model on the right.)

I don't know what to think at this point, society has got me so screwed up. With all the EAT THIS, NOT THAT shit and maple syrup/cyan pepper concoctions people are choking down it's a wonder this world is a mess. What has happened to us women? When did we decide that we needed to be cut up, sucked in and barbie doll molded instead of the soft beautiful creatures we are supposed to be. ****SIDE NOTE...IF YOU ARE AN ATHLETE, DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY, YOU HAVE A TOTAL DIFFERENT MINDSET WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR BODY, SO I FORGIVE YOU FOR HAVING A BETTER SIX PACK THAN MOST OF THE MEN I'VE EVER DATED. YOU DO YOUR THING****

I don't want to say it, but I have to put some blame on Madonna. Her and her damn super yoga intense ridiculous workout regimens at age 50. What the hell are you doing to us Madge???? Look at your arms!!!! It's no wonder Guy Richie left you, shit I worship you and I would leave you if I had to wake up to those arms every morning. Please excuse me while I go pray for forgivness for speaking so ill of the Material Girl herself, even though it's the truth. Take a look for yourself while I'm gone...

.....Okay, I'm back! You understand what I mean by now right? I read an article a few months back and they were interviewing January Jones, who plays Betty Draper in Mad Men. She was saying that she has to be careful how much she works out because the producers like her to look feminine, how most women looked in the 1960's (the era which the show is set.)

Ms. Jones looks awesome, yes she is slender, but that is her body type. She probably couldn't get plump if she tried, God bless her. Speaking of slender, I wish people would use that description instead of skinny. Skinny just seems so crude to me. It's almost the same as calling someone fat. I remember when I was around 11 years old I was friends with this girl. She had a good fifty pounds on me, and seeing that I'm not the most -all together now- slender girls ever that means she was chubby. Her little brother on the other hand was the complete opposite. He was like a bean pole. Well, one day we were all in the car going somewhere and my friend was teasing her brother, calling him skinny boy and chicken legs. He took it for about 5 minutes, asking her to stop, that he didn't appriciate her comments. When she didn't let up he glared at her and said, "Whatever, fat girl."

Oh man did he get in trouble! Her mom got so mad at him, but I never understood why he got in trouble and she didn't. I've never forgotten that incident, and it bothers me that in our society it is less frowned upon to make fun of someone who is underweight than it is to make fun of someone who is overweight. Do people feel that the ones on the smaller end of the scale don't have their own personal body issues? You can't tell me that they don't, everyone does. How do I know that? Because we are all our own biggest critics.

We are harder on ourselves than anyone else. When we start to appriciate and love ourselves even with our flaws, skinny or fat ones, our lives will become much more satisfying. The energy we put out worrying how society views us is ridiculous. I believe we were sent to this earth to receive a body. I can just see Heavenly Father shaking his fist at us for being so judgemental of our bodies. Like if my mom were to buy me an expensive purse and I just threw it on the ground like it's nothing. She probably put a lot of effort into picking out that purse for me, yet when she gives it to me I treat it as if it's not special. Our Heavenly Father gave us our bodies, and he also put much love and consideration into them. So why do we treat them as if they are not special?

I have been slender, I've even been skinny. It was gross. I weigh the most I've ever weighed, but I do not dislike myself. If I laid off the beer I could get rid of my belly I've got going on and I would be completly satisfied. I am healthy, and if society wants to call that plus-sized than so be it. Since that's what they want to call me do I get a free mumu or something? No? Damn, I guess I'll just keep on rocking my regular size M clothes...but I leave you with this quote from Christina Hendricks, who also stars in Mad Men as Joan Holloway.

To all the slender and curvy women I know, you all look foxy to me....I'll see you ladies at the gym, or the bar**wink wink**