Friends....how many of us have them?

GRRRRR....

You know what erks my nerves more than democrats? People who are ridiculous.

Let me be more specific...

I dislike people who use the term "friend" loosely.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's great to be friends with as many people as you want, the world needs more friends, but I think somewhere down the road people forgot what the the defenition of a friend is.

For those of you who need reminding of the definition of a friend, I went to my trusty Wikipedia to give a perfect description:

Friendship is the cooperative and supportive relationship between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as the exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors.

To me this is the PERFECT definition, actually the ONLY definition of what a friend is. Everything else is bullshit.

BFF, I'm going to use us as an example...I know you're excited Boo!

The BFF and I have been friends forever. I'm talking over ten years. Yes, we've had our spats, and yes, we are always bickering, but I love her. She is always there for me. I try to always be there for her. She can annoy me like nails on a chalkboard sometimes, and sometimes I look at her and think, "Jesus Christ, you've got to be kidding me." She and I don't always see things the same way. She loves children, and she'll probably ruin her vagina by popping out enough kids to name each one a different day of the week. Me, not so much. I plan on keeping my vagina child free for at least the next ten years. After that, maybe I'll hire a surrogate to carry my bundle of joy/hellraiser. She also is more, hmmm... how should I put this, softer than me. And by that I mean soft hearted. She genuially cares for others more than I do, and therefore cares what others think more than I do. Sometimes I have to say, this gets a little aggrivating. It's like she can't say no sometimes, even though she really wants to. I will say, she has no problem saying no to me though, I wonder what that means....We differ in other areas as well, but we also have a lot in common. That's why we're friends I guess. I'm pretty sure the only way we would stop being friends is if one of us stole the other's boyfriend. Since I'm perpetually single and she is near getting engaged I'm highly doubtful that will occur.

I think people are forgetting that not everyone has to be friends. In fact, I could bet money that most people who consider another person as their friend is wrong. That person is probably just an acquaintance.

So how do you know if someone is your friend or just your acquaintance? Look no further! I have the answers to this mystery.

If you go to lunch how do you pay the bill?
a- you split it 50/50
b- you pay or they pay this time, but the next time you make sure to switch off so you are even.
c- it doesn't matter who pays, because you will eventually both pay for enough of the others meals at one point to make it even.

When something exciting happens in your life like an engagement, promotion, or pregnancy do you...
a- text the person the good news.
b- call the person to tell them the good news
c- the person already knows that the good news might or might not happen so all you need to do is call to confirm either or.

When you look through photographs
a- you have some nice pictures with each other from birthday parties and other events
b- the person is in 80% or more of the pictures.
c- the person is in 80% or more of the pictures and you have too many "self taken" shots with one another.

When you drink too much does this person
a- hear about it sometime in the next week.
b- was with you when you got drunk.
c- held your hair and cleaned up after you when you puked.

When it comes to personnal information do you
a- keep that to yourself
b- tell them if you need advice
c- this person pretty much knows the good, the bad and the ugly.

When it comes to this person's family
a- you know the person's siblings/parents names.
b- you have met the person's siblings/parents and know them by name.
c- you could hang out with the person's siblings/parents without the person there because you know them that well.

If the person broke up with their significant other and the ex tried to hit on you
a- you might flirt back, but wouldn't think of dating them.
b- you would tell the person that their ex is a jerk and tried to hit on you unsuccessfully.
c- the minute the ex hit on you you hit them back, in the mouth.

Communication is key to a friendship, you and this person
a- communicate through texting and phone calls.
b- communicate through texting, phone calls and face to face interaction.
c- communicate through texting, phone calls, face to face interaction and a strange type of telepathy that allows you to know what the other person is thinking based on the way they look and/or speaking.

If you answered mostly a's then I'm sorry to say, you and the person taking my quiz are only acquaintances. Do not be upset, this type of realtionship has the potential for growth into a real friendship, but for now the two of you are not as close as two actual friends.

If you answered mostly b's then congratulations! You and the person taking my quiz are indeed friends. You share common intrests and have a strong bond. Good for you!

If you answered mostly c's then you and the person taking my quiz are BFF's. You do not need to flaunt your friendship to know that it's real, you simply have a person that will stand by you through thick or thin...well, unless you sleep with their significant other. Then all bets are off.

I would like to leave you with the idea that not everyone is meant to be friends. Some personnalities are just not meant to be around one another. This is okay! I'm not saying that if you don't like someone based on their personnality you should be rude to them, I'm just saying that you are better off as acquaintances. So please, let's not smut up the word friend with a bunch of fake friendships. Save that definition for the real deal.