My fourth quarter

Maybe it's the vicodin, but I am in such a good mood I can't help it. The part that makes me want to simultaneously pull my hair out and scream for joy at the same time is that I have had such a crappy year.

It's true, the weight I wanted to lose that I didn't, the money I wanted to make that still hasn't made it to my bank account, getting my heart broken, these are not things that most would measure a successful year by. I sure as hell was chopping this one up to a failure.

Then, I was at work today, and this guy I was working with said his birthday was tomorrow. He mentioned how he was going to be turning 24 which made me comment how I rememebered 24 being a good year for me. Then we got into the I'm old/you're NOT old arguement. He asked me when my birthday was and I told him in about 3 months. Then he laughed and said I have a whole quarter left. I laughed and made a comment about how much worse could it get this year and that I couldn't wait for next year, that 26 had not been my best year. He responded with the best answer I've ever heard.

"Well, maybe your fourth quarter will be your best quarter of the year."

I didn't really think about it much when he said it, but after I left work I couldn't stop thinking about his comment. Maybe my fourth quarter is going to be the best of this year. I mean why wouldn't it be? Yes, it could be worse than the rest of my year, but when I think of what my "horrible year" consisted of I'm slightly embarrassed. People have it way worse out there than I do. I am blessed to have a fantastic family, to have beautiful friends, and so many experiences and memories.

I am aware that my life is in a transition at the moment, and that it's a little scary- and I don't know what is going to happen- but I can't help but feel excited to find out what the future holds for me. As of this moment the world is my oyster. I can stay here, I could move to Seattle (since apparently I experienced a miracle with that lady telling me the Holy Ghost was prompting me to move there) I could find a great guy, or I could get a million cats, either way I am still going to be me, and I'm pretty pleased with who I am. My cukkoo psychic lady told me that I have a few more years to play before I settle down, and I've decided that I'm going to enjoy them before I have the whole ball and chain thing. I don't want to make the impression that I am jealous or looking down on people in committed relationships, because that is simply not true. I am always happy for my friends when they find love, shit I love matchmaking anyone. So it's not that I'm looking down on being in a relationship, it's just that once you find "The One" you give up on that chase. You never have another first date, another first kiss, another "first" anything. And while- if this person is truely "The One"- you are too busy making new memories and sharing your lives together to notice that you are never going to have that "first" thrill again, I think it is important to also enjoy your mistakes that you make before you get it right.

So for now I'm over it. It's just a few pounds, it's just money, it's just a job, he's just a boy...that's all it is. Here's to my fourth quarter being a success...