Is Harry right?

Every night, before I get into bed I pop in When Harry Met Sally, and that my friends is how I fall asleep. I have done this for six years now. It's my nightly routine. I pretty much have that movie memorized somewhere in my subconscious, since I always fall asleep around the time they met again at the airport.

For those of you unfamiliar with the story of the movie, it is mostly built around the question of whether or not men and women can be friends. The two meet when they are both leaving the University of Chicago for New York City. Sally is friends wirth the girl Harry is dating so they share the drive out there. Harry tells Sally on that ride that they cannot be friends...

Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.


Sally: Why not?

Harry: What I'm saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.

Harry: No you don't.

Sally: Yes I do.

Harry: No you don't.

Sally: Yes I do.

Harry: You only think you do.

Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?

Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.

Sally: They do not.

Harry: Do too.

Sally: They do not.

Harry: Do too.

Sally: How do you know?

Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?

Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail 'em too.

Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?

Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.

Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.

Harry: Guess not.

Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person that I knew in New York.


The rest of the movie deals with their relationship and friendship. It's a really good movie, it's in my top 5, so if you haven't seen it I suggest you put it on your Netflix list.

The reason I bring this up, is because I want to know if Harry is correct in his idea that men and women cannot be friends, does the sex always get in the way? And if he is right, then do all men really think about sex that much?

I would like to argue that Harry is incorrect, that men and women can be friends. That we've evolved into a better society and that I am not living in the same world that my grandmother did when men called her by "Honey" or "Darling" more than they did her first name. I would like to think that men think about more than getting in a girls pants.

But then I have to take a look at my own life and experiences and that makes me think that Harry might be onto something. Take me and Batman. We are friends. We talk to each other about stuff. We hang out, but are we really friends? Because I know for a fact that he wants in my pants, even if it is just for the fact that he can't, not because he actually wants to. And everyone knows that I like him, but am smart enough to know that I shouldn't and that he would never be what I need. So are we friends, or are we just faux friends?

I had a guy friend for a while that made me think that Harry was wrong. We were really close, we talked about everything, but it was totally platonic. No feelings on either end, just purely friendship. I would compare the feelings I had for him to something I would think a sister would feel for her brother. I don't have a brother so I can't say for sure, but I'm willing to bet money it's around the same thing. We aren't friends anymore though, but I can assure you the reasons we are not has nothing to do with sex.

Another thing about men and women and the whole subject is the hug/kiss on the cheek greeting. Mr. Perfect said that it was inappropriate for me to hug my guy friends and kiss them on the cheek when I said hello or goodbye. I thought he was being immature, and dumb. I asked him what he felt was an acceptable way of saying hello, he told me a handshake. A fucking handshake! Are you kidding me? Who are you meeting, the president? Give me a break. I highly doubt that the guys I hug or kiss on the cheek are getting off on it. Most of them are married anyway, or have long term girlfriends, so I didn't see the problem. Maybe Mr. Perfect thinks like Harry, and doesn't want to give anyone the wrong idea. I don't know. I can understand if I'm slipping people the tongue here, but we're talking about a peck. I don't think that I need to add that on to the list of why I'm going to Hell. There are pleanty of other issues on it that take presidence over cheek pecking.

While I'm on the subject of love and friendship I want to know how people break up and stay friends with each other. I don't believe in that. Maybe it's the competitve bitch in me, but I don't want to stay in touch after things go sour. "Oh yeah, I thought I might maybe marry you one day, but now that we've established that you'd rather eat broken glass than spend the rest of your life with me can we still keep in touch? Can you be sure to update me on how you're doing so much better without me, and make sure to send me pictures of your next girlfriend, so I can compare myself to her until I drive myself to eating an entire package of oreo's" I don't think so. Even if I'm the one that did the rejecting I don't want to be friends, because the minute you move on and get a new girl I want you. It's sick, I know. But I can't help it. Are all women like this, or just crazy me? I know that most would like to claim that they are not as petty, but I am willing to bet money that deep down in their hearts they are just like me. I just have the balls to admit it out loud.
I have an ex that took me forever to get over. A couple years ago I was at the mall with the BFF. We were shopping for a bra for me for my birthday party. I wanted a specific color and type, so we went to Macy's and Victoria Secrets and even Fredricks. We were in Macy's when I decided I was going to go with the one in Victoria Secrets. BFF was now in the middle of her own shopping so I told her I would run down there get the bra and meet her back in Macys. As I'm standing in line I start to focus on who is in front of me in this line. From the back the guy looked exactly like my ex, the way he was dressed, his height, the way he was standing, everything. He had a stroller with him, and my ex had just had a baby with some girl. This guy also was with some girl, I'm assuming the mother of the baby in the stroller. For an entire year I said, "I'm so over him, if I ran into him I would just act like I don't even know him. It would be no big deal!" That all went out the window the minute I thought he was standing in front of me in that line. Lucky for me the guy turned around and it was not my ex, but for about 15 seconds I had a mini panic attack and almost threw that bra on the ground and walked straight out of the store. Yeah, that's me being "so over him." Pathetic, huh?

I can say now that I am over him, but only because I am not over someone else. It makes me sad to think that the only way I can get over a man is with another man. I might need to take a women's empowerment camp, but then my mom might think I'm turning into a lesbian, so I maybe I should put that idea on the back burner for now. No need to crush any hope that she has about becoming a grandmother eventually. Not that I'm ready to have kids now, but will I ever be 100% ready? By the time I am my ovaries will be as dried up as a raisin and I'll have to pay some 21 year old  thousands of dollars to carry my child. All so I can have a noisey, messy, annoying little bundle of joy. And then if I have a boy I'll have to worry about whether he's thinking about getting into all of his friend's pants that are girls when he is older, because men and women cannot be friends, since the sex always gets in the way...